Why Women Talk So Much....

An extract taken from a wordpress site:

I don’t think I talk too much, but BS thinks otherwise. To him, I “talk differently”. That was probably his way of testing waters and it could mostly likely meant that I talk more than I have to, think more than I need to, seem to have a thousand problems going on at the same time when it isn’t the case at all – you know, the usual dilemma men have about women. Apparently women are difficult to be understood and even more difficult to please. On the other hand, I thought men can be quite dumb about the most obvious things and totally insensitive during crucial times. (Men, do forgive me for being so straightforward!)

Anyway, if you think that women really talk too much, talk irrelevantly, talk confusingly, you might as well find out why we do so. I feel so amused reading from the famous book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (a Christmas present from Jellio). I actually discovered why I talk so much and how confused BS can get just by listening to me talk for a few minutes!

Below is a wonderful excerpt from the book in Chapter 3: Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk.

“When a woman is stressed she instinctively feels a need to talk about her feelings and all the possible problems that are associated with her feelings. When she begins talking she does not prioritize the significance of any problem. If she is upset, then she is upset about it all, big and small. She is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. By randomly talking about her problems, she becomes less upset.

As a man under stress tends to focus on one problem and forget others, a woman under stress tends to expand and become overwhelmed by all problems. By talking about all possible problems without focusing on problem solving she feels better. Through exploring her feelings in this process she gains a greater awareness of what is really bothering her, and then suddenly she is no longer so overwhelmed.

To feel better, women talk about past problems, future problems, potential problems, even problems that have no solutions. The more talk and exploration, the better they feel. This is the way women operate. To expect otherwise is to deny a woman her sense of self.

When a woman is overwhelmed she finds relief through talking in great detail about her various problems. Gradually, if she feels she is being heard, her stress disappears. After talking about one topic she will pause and then move on to the next. In this way she continues to expand talking about problems, worries, disappointments, and frustrations. These topics need not be in any order and end to be logically unrelated. If she feels she is not being understood, her awareness may expand even further, and she may become upset about more problems.

Just as a man who is stuck in the cave needs little problems to distract him, a woman who doesn’t feel heard will need to talk about other problems that are less immediate to feel relief. To forget her own painful feelings she may become emotionally involved in the problems of others. In addition she may find relief through discussing the problems of her friends, relatives, and associates. Whether she is talking about her problems or others’ problems, talking is a natural and healthy Venusian reaction to stress.“

So next time when we talk about anything and everything under the sun, kindly bear with us coz it’s our natural way to de-stress. Or at least, pretend to be listening. But be reminded that we are so sensitive we most probably know that you are not listening at all and then go on to erupt like a volcano, making matters worse from where they first started.

Hehe… awful I know, but this is just too bad. Please blame the X chromosome