Over the years and months, when a new proposal entered my fold, it was a breath of fresh air and then as each one came and went it was like a roller coaster. One day I say this roller coaster will end. Until then I thought I need to diagnose what it is that stops me from moving forward on a proposal.
A few of these Q's always arise...
-Would I like the sister in a few years time or even months?
-Will I be able to make her happy (truly)?
-Will she be able to make me really happy and more so content?
-Will she fit in with my lifestyle?
-Would she be willing to change for me?
-Would I need to change significantly for her?
-How would she be able to cope with me in my darkest of moods?
-Will she get on with my sisters and my parents?
-She is very different from my sisters, is that an issue?
-She is more practicing then I and is more than my sisters will that be a clash?
The more I leave to think about things, the more Q's I always had. I realised up to now that those Q's do no mean a thing, as a special sister I had met recently gave me advice about suspected "doubts" one has about marriage and partner selection:
The advice was something along the lines of:
If you have suspected doubts let them only be if they caste doubts to those Q's below:
- What is the reason you are getting married? Is it to please Allah (swt)?
- Would this partner help you to bring you closer to the Almighty and to help you complete half of your deen?
- Would this person want to increase their deen with you and ultimately want to please Allah (swt) above everything else?
Well the questions are very simple and the answers are even more clearer when you have faith in Allah (swt).
I have misunderstood the sanciity of marriage in the true Islamic spirit and Insha'Allah may this be a guide to those who read this. Be sincere to oneself, be honest with oneself and to your Lord, totally submit to your Lord for guidance and your Lord will not fail you.
A few of these Q's always arise...
-Would I like the sister in a few years time or even months?
-Will I be able to make her happy (truly)?
-Will she be able to make me really happy and more so content?
-Will she fit in with my lifestyle?
-Would she be willing to change for me?
-Would I need to change significantly for her?
-How would she be able to cope with me in my darkest of moods?
-Will she get on with my sisters and my parents?
-She is very different from my sisters, is that an issue?
-She is more practicing then I and is more than my sisters will that be a clash?
The more I leave to think about things, the more Q's I always had. I realised up to now that those Q's do no mean a thing, as a special sister I had met recently gave me advice about suspected "doubts" one has about marriage and partner selection:
The advice was something along the lines of:
If you have suspected doubts let them only be if they caste doubts to those Q's below:
- What is the reason you are getting married? Is it to please Allah (swt)?
- Would this partner help you to bring you closer to the Almighty and to help you complete half of your deen?
- Would this person want to increase their deen with you and ultimately want to please Allah (swt) above everything else?
Well the questions are very simple and the answers are even more clearer when you have faith in Allah (swt).
I have misunderstood the sanciity of marriage in the true Islamic spirit and Insha'Allah may this be a guide to those who read this. Be sincere to oneself, be honest with oneself and to your Lord, totally submit to your Lord for guidance and your Lord will not fail you.
