(((Platform Noise)))

A while back in my quest to find the perfecto mondo person, I came across a girl with a great heart and soul, she was full of energy. We spoke over the phone in the infancy of our meeting and realised early on that there was no chemistry in the sense of marriage.

As I began to tell her that there was no future, she began to feel very emotional saying " you haven't even seen me yet" and was almost going into waterworks. As the perfect gentlemen what can a man do? I could flee and say " see ya later", or as one of my uni mates would say "my mum is calling me" and shoot off as if I had some telephone transmitted contagious virus! So finally ended chat with the conversation spanning " lets meet soon" - was I a sucker for punishment in hindsight!

The day came when we where due to meet, nerves running wild in the women corner, I was a bit perplexed with the whole situation not really knowing why I was meeting her...suppose it was for closure purposes I said to myself.

So we met, the first instance I knew my decision was right all along, as we walked well I did, the sister in question well she was stumbling... as I could only hear the sounds from the front go ..."Clik", Clak", "Clok", I was like what the hell is that, looking back I see her with her 5inch platforms!- it was not a pretty sight, she was asking me to slow down I was thinking any slower and I will be doing the damn moonwalk!

Eventually, as she got over the virtual mountains we took our place at Pizza Hut to get some food, we ordered a buffet (a real caveman's dream of hardcore unadulterated Carbs!), I thought she would prefer this as lets say she looked like she wasn't too shy when it came to food!

If, you have seen White Chics, the next part you will be able to relate too...I was stuffing them Pizzas left right and centre, thinking the sister is going to get so mad and run off, but she loved me having an appetite. Guess she was not hungry (as hard as it was to believe).

Well after a few hours later playing all the real man games like pool and bowling (well cant really get her to play squash now come on!) and whipping her in all - I called it a day, think she was well exhausted after just watching me!

Espanol Chica

Espanol Chica! Met one over the years. This was a Bengali girl like no other as she loved Spanish like it was the bees knees, giving me Como esta, Me nombre...well after much deliberation and competition on the spanish phrases I was definitely beaten and had my work cut out!

As for the Chica, she was pleasant as one can be. She however was part of the Bengali aristocracy a place called "Nwakali", now I was not too sure of the exact predicament of the people of their area Vs my family who very much proudly originate from the people republic of Sylhet i.e. ordinary folk from the village. Her family consists of Army officials, barristers, doctors and alike and they were partying and functioning with the powers to be within Bangladesh.

This high flying socialites, our family were definitely not so I suggested maybe too many assumptions may not go down too well so I suggested we meet.

After meeting at a Arabe Cafe in Shephards Bush, I concluded that things were left as they were and we go our own ways. First they speak a different mother tongue, have different values, and more so I thought there was definitely no attraction there, as she was just too tall and big for me.

So adios chica was the last and final word here.

Slipped through the Net

I was once again speaking to a new contact having exchanged pleasantries on the mail front we began to exchange numbers. The sister was not very familiar with MSN or its existence so I was acting more as an IT help desk personnel for most of the first 15 minutes of our initial "intro" conversation.

Having found the IT is not her forte, the next 15 minutes or so were spent kind of asking Q's. It was not the Q's I found difficult it was the delivery and responsiveness. A lots of "ermms", also speedy narrations of "yes" and "no" and "then" and "that", "oh", and more "ermm", it was a complete mumble jumble, I didn't know whether I was coming or going.

I really thought given the amount of peeps I have met on my hikes I had filtered carefully so as not to have people that I totally don't think I can communicate with (within a certain level) let along without even looking for things we may have in common). It just shows you can't be too careful.

Cest La Vie!